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Essay Om Valg Og Verdier Parasol

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At træffe valg undervejs

Vi skaber vores liv gennem de valg, som vi tager livet igennem. Og med hvert eneste valg, vi tager, former vi og ændrer vi samtidig vores skæbne. Skal livet sættes på en enkel formel, er det, at livet er et eksistentielt valg. Alle valg er i en vis forstand eksistentielle valg, da alle valg handler om livet, men egentlige eksistentielle valg er de valg, der tages på et eksistentielt niveau, vedrørende noget dybere i os, vores identitet, hvem vi er, vores værdier, vores mening med livet, vores forhold til andre.

 

At træffe valg

Det kan være svært at træffe valg og vi kan kun gøre det ud fra de givne omstændigheder. Det er derfor vigtigt, at vi sætter os ned, mærker godt efter og på baggrund af det træffer vores valg.

 

At træffe valg indebærer en lang række forhold, alt efter situationen:

- det indebærer at mærke grundigt efter

- det indebærer at tage en beslutning

- det indebærer modet dertil

- og det indebærer ressourcerne til at føre valget ud i livet.

 

I bedste fald har vi modet og ressourcerne og ved hvilken vej, vi vil gå og dermed, hvad vi vil beslutte os for. Men det er dog ikke altid tilfældet.

 

Langt de fleste af os træffer det meste af tiden almindelige, kedelige og konforme valg, som ikke får ret meget sved frem på panden. Af og til gør det lidt ondt i maven, men det er især, når vi skal overskride vores egne grænser eller omgivelsernes konforme regler. Og vi plejer såmænd at overleve det.

 

Men det er dog ikke altid, det er sådan. Til tider sker faktisk det modsatte. At vi er nødt til at træffe et valg, uden at have det fornødne grundlag for vores beslutning, uden nødvendigvis at have ressourcerne til at udføre valget og uden måske at føle os særlige kaldet til det. Og at vi må sætte vores 'overlevelse' ind på, at valget lykkes.

 

Det sker også af og til, at vi præsenteres for muligheder eller begrænsninger, der gør det nødvendigt, at vi tager tingene på os, at vi tager livet eller dele heraf op til fornyet overvejelse. Enten fordi vi selv finder det nødvendigt eller fordi livet præsenterer os for forhold, som vi er nødt til at tage stilling til, fx. tilbydes et nyt job, en ny lejlighed, en billig rejse - eller fordi vi mister vort job uden varsel, bliver kørt ned på gaden, bliver syge.

 

Andre gange sker tingene over længere tid - vi præsenteres for noget, tænker videre over det, snakker med andre, prøver en del af det vi godt ku tænke os, lader tiden gå, vender tilbage, tager en beslutning........og prøver noget nyt og radikalt anderledes.

 

Uanset skal vi tage stilling, beslutte os for noget og føre det ud i livet. Med større eller mindre konsekvenser for vores videre færd.

 

Livets manglende retningslinjer

Hvis tilværelsen grundlæggende er absurd og livet som sådan ingen mening har, udover den mening som vi selv giver livet, så findes der faktisk ingen egentlige retningslinjer, som vi kan bruge som guidelines for vores valg.

 

En af de helt store eksistentielle udfordringer bliver da at træffe valg uden at have noget egentlig grundlag at træffe dem på. Når alt kommer til alt handler det således om, at vi træffer valg med baggrund i os selv og tager ansvar for konsekvenserne af de valg, vi træffer. Når vi træffer valg, vælger vi dermed samtidig os selv. Når vi vælger os selv, tager vi samtidig ansvar for os selv og tager ansvar for, hvad for et liv, vi gerne vil leve.

 

Når vi træffer valg, skaber vi derfor samtidig meningen med vores tilværelse. Så meget desto mere vigtigt er det, at vi vælger så ægte som muligt på baggrund af os selv og at vi ikke vælger overfladisk eller af hensyn til andre, andres normer og værdier. Det er de valg vi træffer, der giver livet mening.

 

Ikke at træffe valg

En stor del af livet er kendetegnet ved, at vi ikke tager de store dramatiske beslutninger. De valg, som vi da tager, ligger ligesom i forlængelse af den måde, som vi i øvrigt lever på i forvejen. Og det er begrænset, hvad nyt det bringer i vort liv. Vi lever vores sædvanlige liv og undgår større udfordringer.

 

Det, som vi da risikerer at undgå, er Livet - Livets Udfordringer til os - vores egne Eksistentielle Livs Temaer. Vi undgår en mere grundlæggende forpligtelse overfor og forbindelse med os selv og livet

For ligesom vi er ’kastet ind i verden' (Heidegger), er vi ’dømte’ til at vælge, til at forholde os og til at tage stilling. Ikke at træffe valg er jo som bekendt også at træffe valg.

 

Det frie valg

Der findes altid et valg, men der findes ingen frie valg, da vores handlinger og valg altid er bestemt af den situation, vi står i og af det, der gik forud. Men i et givent øjeblik vælger vi selv, hvordán vi vil forholde os ud fra de muligheder og begrænsninger, der er og deri består det egentlige "frie" valg.

 

Når Livet vælger for os

Mange valg - nogle af dem ret betydningsfulde og med store konsekvenser for os selv og måske for andre - træffer vi ikke selv, men træffer Livet for os. Igen er vores andel at vælge, hvordan vi da kan, vil og har lyst til at vælge at forholde os.

 

Kort sagt

Det er i de valg, vi træffer under de givne betingelser på Livets store scene, at vi som mennesker træder i karakter. Og bliver det menneske, vi nu engang er.

 

Sig efter mig:

"Det er gennem de valg, jeg træffer livet igennem, jeg bliver den, jeg er. Det handler om at træffe valg, jeg kan leve med. Dermed bliver mit liv også mere meningsfuldt".